My whole life I have been overweight. Not morbidly obese or anything, but overweight. When Blayne and I got together I was in the best shape of my life, and at 190 lbs that was still in no way a healthy weight. When I got pregnant with HD weighed as much as I did 9 months pregnant with Hunter. 220 lbs. Of course, when I was pregnant I did put on weight, only 10 lbs but still it capped me at the heaviest I have been in my life. 6 months later I was still carrying all of that weight. I decided that it was time for a change, a life change.
In the past, I have tried to lose weight and by making a bunch of changes all at once and giving up. When I was actually making progress and keeping it off it was I was serving full-time and was eating salads at work do to my, then, wheat allergy. I now am doing neither of those things. After Hunter and Pre-wedding I was going to the gym twice a week and I managed to lose 2 sizes, but the number on the scale never moved. This was largely due tot the fact that I wasn’t making the necessary dietary changes to lose the weight.
This time things are going to be different. The old me would get out of bed, drink coffee and have a nap, before drinking more coffee. I would rarely eat breakfast, and almost never lunch. I would not get off the chair where I was watching TV. No food or drinks until dinner time where it would almost certainly be coke, which is what I would drink until bed. I would then drink about 8 oz of water (certain that made up for all the water I didn’t drink during the day and then I would have a fitful sleep before getting up and doing it all over again. Hello, healthy… not.
It took me 27 years and 2 babies to put on this weight. It is going to take a while to get it off, and a lifetime to keep it off. I am not doing a yo-yo diet. I am making a lifestyle change, slowly as to not overwhelm myself. Past experience tells me that is a sure-fire way to fail. I am tired of failing, but mostly I am tired of not being the mom I want to be. I no longer want to hide from the camera so there are no pictures of me and my kids.
I am writing this so that I have something (someone) to hold myself accountable to. I have a long road ahead of me, but I am going to follow it through. I guess my first step would be putting down the cookies I am eating while writing this.